Well it has been a month since the last time I posted. A lot has changed in those 30+ days. For good or bad? I would say..for growth.
I considered documenting the journey here, but I needed to get on solid ground before I started expounding on my experiences. This past month could be likened to the travel phase of a globe-trotting expedition. Before your world exploration can begin, there is the transition between where you currently are and your first "port of call" (of which my parents are very familiar). It's that middle phase before your actual journey begins; the preparation stage. My Dad, in all his good intentions, is notorious for pre-vacation "stress" episodes. I, the free spirited maverick of the family, am completely content with packing the night before our escapades, be it a cruise or simply a weekend getaway. My father, however, insists on packing two weeks in advance...like I really have that much underwear to last me until vacation. Needless to say, you can imagine the slightly tense atmosphere in my house the night before our week of peace and rest. My Dad has two sayings we can count on hearing at least once during every trip we take:
1. The Bronx is the only city in the U.S. with the word "the" in its title.
and 2. Vacation doesn't begin until we pick up our luggage at baggage claim.
Both are tried and true.
(side note: if there is another city in the U.S. containing the word "the," please don't inform my Dad, the cognitive dissonance could be fatal).
The point I'm attempting to make is that while, in the big picture, the pre-expedition phase is a part of the whole journey, I believe that in the context of this "voyage of discovery" I have embarked on, the past month must be differentiated from the now.
The combination of balancing school, work, social, and personal life can sometimes make sitting down and writing a little daunting and almost an impractical use of my time. However, I have realized that if I don't express my thoughts somewhere, they compound within my mind and the balance of my life falls apart. So although my psychology book may be faintly (practically inaudibly) insisting on my attention, ultimately my mind is in a much better condition to learn and grow when I am processing these new thoughts and experiences.
*A heartfelt warning: I am being challenged in ways I have never experienced. I am grappling with ideas that I have never contemplated. I am being exposed to concepts I can barely confront because of the fear of what I'll discover. I am entertaining previously forbidden and disregarded. Most of the discoveries I am making are still incomplete and unformulated. Conclusions appear vague, ambiguous and distant. I have found myself fighting even the call of the journey itself. However, I cannot disregard this call, this invitation to abandon myself to the uncovering of truth. I would never want to be responsible for hindering or off-setting the journey of a fellow ragamuffin. This is the road I must travel upon. I welcome any companionship along this process, but I must ask that it not be out of a well-intended desire to control the outcome. Our destinations may be both reassuringly similar and stark in contrast. Or perhaps we never truly reach a destination, but simply add pages to what is our story. I cannot expect yours to be a duplicate of mine. What a hollow and barren library we would have. Hopefully my thoughts, inquiries, and discoveries will enkindle a desire to add new and exciting chapters to your own life.
Then we can come together over a cup of tea, and marvel at the boundless depth, differences, and wisdom we have uncovered on this journey of discovery.
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