a soul vacation

    Lately on Joyce Meyer's show, Everyjoying Everyday Life, she's been preaching all about rest; letting your soul go on a permanent vacation. She's so cute up there lounging under an umbrella, sipping out of a coconut with big bug-eyed shades. But she makes her point well that we can have rest in our souls even in the midst of everything else around us. There is something so relieving about realizing that my circumstances can't bother me unless I give them permission to do so.


exhibit A...

splendid. a day in the life of Katie.

this is me attempting to transfer 8 potted plants from the kitchen to the dining room by dragging them across the room on a chair. As you can see, I didn't fully evaluate my options before attempting the transport. It was actually much worse, but in my spasm, I tried to quickly repot the plants after the catastrophe. Looking back, I believe I was confused in thinking that plants are like fish...if they're out of their pot for even a minute, they'll die. In the terror that followed the prospect of murdering my vegetable garden, I scrambled to get them back into their pot. It was only after they were safely tucked into their pots that I thought to take a picture.
    Anyways, the moral of my story is not that Katie needs to consider her various options before taking action, but it was my response to the situation. After looking up and audibly screaming, "GOD, what am I supposed to do!?!", I realized that even in my frantic moment, I was at a crossroad. I could choose to respond to the emotions that had instantly rose up within me. It was tempting, because 1. I was staring at a huge pile of dirt on my kitchen floor, and 2. my beloved garden was potentially destroyed. BUT I decided that God was granting me a moment to put my faith into action and find humor in the situation, rather than beating myself down.
    Now, in the scheme of life, I'm sure we'd all agree that this crossroad is not one that has lasting reprecussions. However, I know for a fact that my reaction in that moment would have determined my attitude, which very well could have possibly progressed throughout the rest of my day. Instead, I burst out laughing and told God, "well, You made me."
    Satan would love to use little moments like that to kick down our door and hit us while we're down. He'll take any victory he can get, even if it's as simple as being grumpy about a garden taking over the kitchen. Don't let him steal your peace. Peace is such a precious gift that we all have the privilege of inheriting through Jesus. So rather than letting your flesh react, sit back, take a sip of the coconut juice, and remember: your soul's on vacation.

"Experiencing and Responding to God's Great Love"

    Join me in reflection upon what I consider to be a deeply profound excerpt from a message called "Experiencing and Responding to God's Great Love" that Brennan Manning gave at Seattle Pacific University back in 1992. I frequently listen to the 28 minute message because it is one in which I should continually remind myself...

Isn't it difficult to believe you're worth the death of anyone? Least of all the most holy God? I'm sure it's crossed your mind, and since God alone made you, with a little help from your parents of course, God alone knows what response He's looking from you, and how many peoples' destinies depend on yours. So when you scorn yourself, put yourself down, say "Yeah, but I'm a clod man, I'm a loser. I'm not one of those intense, devout, pious Christians. If you ever got to know the real me, you wouldn't want to know me." So much insicerity, skepticism, cynicism, shallow faith and the self-talk continues, "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms.." When you scorn yourself, you scorn all those plans of His, all the dreams He was going to realize through you, all the joy anticipated from you, and all the hope that He placed in you. Self-hatred is an indecent luxury that no disciple of Jesus can afford because self-hatred suddenly reestablishes me as the center of my focus and concern and biblically, that's idolatry.

    I looked up the word scorn and it means to reject, refuse, or ignore with contempt or disdain.
Ouch. As much I'd love to plead innocent to ever rejecting God's plans for me, refusing the dreams He wants to realize through me, or ignoring the joy and hope He wants to extract from me, I must honestly confess I am guilty.
    It's easy for me to hear that and immediately think, "Well, I've never outright told God I was rejecting His plans for my life." But I think it's so easy to fall into the pattern of rejecting ourselves, whether it's a result of words that have been spoken over us or lies the enemy has placed in our mind and ultimately, as Brennan points out, when we reject ourselves, we're rejecting the plans, dreams, hopes, and joys God has stored up for our lives. I know from personal experience that it is impossible to be in hatred with yourself and still maintain a burning love for God. The two cannot co-exist because God won't have any part in self-hatred. He's only love, it's not just a quality He possesses, but it's His nature.
    How can we expect to live up to the beautiful, fulfulling life God designed for each of us if we're busy entertaining negative beliefs about ourselves? When we put ourselves down, it's easy to be deceived into viewing it as a self-less, humble act; and attempt to deflate pride and arrogance. However, I discovered with myself, instead of being concerned with loving others as God calls me to do, my focus was always centered on ME. What I wasn't and what I needed to be, never just basking in the love that God already had for me. I heard someone say that when we put outselves down in anyway, we're agreeing with the devil.
    I'd rather agree with God. He has much nicer things to say.